Without ever meaning to, I ended up doing sort of an attachment style of parenting. My children find comfort mainly from me. All three of them need to feel my skin in order to feel comfort (I know, it's weird). Elise is partial to having her fingers on my elbow pits, Owen needs to feel the backside of my arm and Magdalyn needs to grab fist-fulls of my arm, pinching me in the process. They even fight over my arms. I am aware that this is strange.
Maggie has been the worst. I think this is because she is on the tail end of 3 babies pretty close together. At night, we always did the easiest thing in order to get a few extra minutes of precious sleep. We've really paid for it and you'd think we would have learned our lesson by the third, but we haven't. Anyway, Maggie would start in her bed (most nights) and then end up in our bed every night by midnight. Plus, she was waking up a lot and feeling like her mom should be nursing her ALL THE TIME. This weekend we decided we needed to start teaching her how to soothe herself. So, for the first time, we let a child cry it out at night.
We moved Elise into Owen's bedroom (which they LOVE) and now Maggie is all on her own. We've let her cry for quite awhile and I have not been going into soothe her at all. After awhile, Daniel goes in and loves on her a bit and puts his hand on her back and she goes back to sleep. It makes my stomach hurt just thinking about her crying in there, but I got some ear plugs and I have been trying to be strong. I get so paranoid that something is going to happen. I just say a prayer every night that she will be ok and I know it will be ok. I mean, at least ONE of our children needs to sleep through the night. I mean, Ellie is almost there, but she is about to turn 4---it's about time.
This is how naps have been going. She used to always nap on our bed, but then as she got more mobile, I got scared so she napped on our pillows instead. I know, it's ridiculous (at least she wasn't needing to be held anymore), which is why we are going to be strong and get this girl sleeping through the night! I'll update later.
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7 comments:
Maggie looks so sweet while she'e napping. It must be hard to hear her cry. I don't think it's so unusual for kids to want some reassurance sometime during the night. Daniel probably remembers how we had all three kids in our bed sometimes during thunderstorms. Savor this time when your little ones want to be around you. Eventually, they leave the nest -- and won't want to be anywhere near a parent.
Love, Grandpa Weber
Ooohh, I feel for you. I remember how hard it was to let Spencer cry. It was so gut-wrenching to feel like I was abandoning him. I hope it works quickly enough that you can get some more sleep. Good luck!!
That will be the best decision of your life. Congrats! It is good for kids to be able to fall asleep on their own, and good for you to be able to sleep at night too.
By the way, Maggie looks so much like Owen in that first picture! In fact I thought at first glance, "why is Owen wearing a bow?"
that is the hardest thing ever. We were in a 1 bedroom until kyle was 1 thus we created a monster that slept in our bed every night until we had sadie when he was 2 and he still comes and tries to get in occationally. Kyle used to soothe himself by "holding" my hair. I get what you are talking about. Sadie did not sleep in her bed but loved feeling tassles on her fleece blanket...which i made sure she had from day 1 :) and zach is the one i had to let scream (i was scarred after kyle throwing up while we let him cry) zach sucks his thumb. but point is it really only took about 1 week...getting less each time. it's the hardest thing to do as a parent though i competely agree
Good luck! Watch Super Nanny for support. :) That's one place I got the guts to let Tanner cry (watching people with 8 year olds who get in their bed every night scared me!), and it only took him a little while, and now he does naps and all night long just fine. You can do it!!!
Way to go, Erin! Those first few nights are the hardest, but you'll be so grateful when it works!
I totally get the ear plug thing. I was terrified to use them. But here we are with both boys "sleeping" (more like not screaming their heads off when they do wake) through the night. They have their projectors they turn on if they can't get right back to sleep. And of course, Jace has his teddy bear to snuggle. Maggie's outfit is darling, by the way!
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